times via social media, or for some people, the one that you STILL check up
on. The ex who left you hanging and threw
you a curveball, or the one who changed so much that it changed you for the
worst. I’ve been reading a lot of
articles on Elite Daily and what not about these types of topics and I wanted
to add my input.
be prepared. There will be the girl
friends who just don’t understand and one of the worst things you can hear is “it’s
his loss.” Is it though? Is it really his loss? Depending on the timing you might have
different answers to those questions. You
weren’t meant to be with each other forever.
You might have been meant to be with each other for the moment but that’s
it. Don’t get me wrong I am definitely
guilty of being the repeat offender, of breaking up and getting back together
when I was younger. I was very angry in
the beginning but once the feelings started to wilt like a beautiful flower I
realized the dark truth. You need to let
go. Here are some reasons why.
What if that day that you were supposed to
meet up with that really nice guy you cancelled on because your ex called you
asking to hang out was your match? What
if that was the day you were supposed to meet your Clyde to your Bonnie, your
Simba to your Nala, what if? That dream guy that you have pictured in your head is not your ex. He was at some point, but not anymore.
That
moment that your stomach drops because you see a picture of him and his new
girlfriend and it just hurts your heart even more. You aren’t just feeling hurt, you are feeling
jealousy. Jealousy that why is he able
to find someone and I’m still stuck on him.
What the heck? Then you start
doubting yourself. Is there something
wrong with me? Am I broken? You will drive yourself crazy asking these
questions that will never be answered. You will start building a negative atmosphere around yourself and that is never beneficial to your health.
Now, I know that Marilyn Monroe once said “if you can’t handle me at my
worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best,” however you don’t
want to become that friend that only talks about her ex. That friend who talks so terribly about him
one day and the next she’s madly in love with him. When you’re out with your friends the last
thing they want to hear about when they ask how was your day is “oh my god I
can’t stand him today.” The same goes
for your family, and the worst part is they will be brutally honest, they won’t
sugarcoat anything. If your friends are extremely close to you then they will most likely react the same way, only difference is they don’t have to love you at the end of the day, your family has no choice in the matter. When you’re at your
most vulnerable state, the last thing you want is someone to be brutally
honest.
I hate to break
it to you but you are wasting your time.
Sometimes people break up and then they get back together and everything
is fine, they live happily ever after.
If you have broken up more than once it’s time to let it go. That is precious time spent fighting and
crying that you can be laughing and enjoying life. Do you really want to look back on your life
5 years from now and regret having wasted so much time hoping for something
that deep down inside your gut you knew wouldn’t end well? If you have that gut feeling, follow it.
I’m sure a lot of people have heard this whether it be with your
siblings, coworkers, friends, or in this case exes. Someone has to be smarter than the other and
end it. It can hurt just as much being
the one to end it as being on the receiving end. Sometimes it might even hurt more when you
say your goodbyes first. It will be hard, that I cannot lie about but in the end you will be better off. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to do it.
After
you break up and both of you have moved on and then somehow every time gravitate towards
each other when you’re single again, you will always be second best. You won’t be his number 1 again because he
knows you will be there so you are the safety, the backup, maybe even the other
woman. You don’t want to be with this
person when you secretly know that you aren’t number 1 anymore.
It really shouldn’t. Sure, when
you love someone sometimes it can be hard if you run into some issues and
certain things can make or break a couple but if you’re pulling teeth then you
really shouldn’t continue. Being with “the
one” should be amazing, passionate, and positive. The honeymoon phase is real and if that isn’t fun and happy, then you really need to rethink this.
takes two to tango. Who knows, maybe she
didn’t even know about you. Don’t be
jealous of her, you just weren’t the right one for your ex, you’re meant for
someone else. Someone who will cherish
you. Someone who is passionate. You will never forget your first love, or
this type of an ex. You might have a
distant memory of them. One thing I will
say, I learned from my mistake of being angry.
This just makes it harder to let go and meet someone new. It will also make you compare your new man to
your old one. That’s never good. If you start doing that, you probably aren’t
ready to go back on the market yet.
have my life in order and I did everything by the book I’m ready to find my other
half, my Clyde, my Simba. I needed to
stand alone to find my inner strength. I
had to fix myself before I could bring anyone into my life. I had to be at my best, not at my worst.
be easy. It gets easier with time and if
you need to be reminded of that just listen to “Timing is Everything.” It’s totally fine if you cry when you listen to this song, I sure did.
Joey says
This is such a great post! I married my high school sweetheart, but the guy I dated just before him stayed with me (mentally) for a long time. I see so many of my girlfriends dealing with this sort of thing–hanging on to something that is clearly over or just not right. Perfect post girl!
Monica Siembieda says
Aww thanks so much!!
Darcy says
So true and I LOVE that song! Country Strong is such an underrated movie : ).
http://www.amemoryofus.com
Monica Siembieda says
Absolutely! That's one of my favorite movies and not many people have seen it.