Kid at Heart

I think almost a year ago I took a similar picture on a
swing.  I really can’t help it; I’m a kid
at heart most of the time.  I will say
though after my lovely photographer (aka the boyfriend) took my pictures of
course he had to show off on the swings and go higher than me.  He then proceeded to play all over the
playground.  The one thing I love about
our relationship is the fact that we can act like total children one minute,
and the next be adults. 

With my birthday approaching I feel like I keep getting less
adult.  Yes, I just used the word adult
to describe my emotions haha.  Next week
I’ll be 29.  One more year left until I
turn 30.  I went to a comedy show this
past weekend and the one comedian actually said that turning 30 is a huge deal
for the person turning 30, no one else cares. 
I’ll be 30 in a little over a year and to me that’s a big deal.  To everyone else it will just be another
birthday.  I think it’s because I feel
like when I turn 30 I’m no longer a child. 
I’m an actual adult.  Another
reason why is also because when my parents came here from Poland they were in
their 20’s and my mom had me when she was 28 which at that time was actually “old”
for having kids.  So in my mind I’m
thinking wow I really need to get my life together and learn how to do this
thing called being an adult.

I don’t mind getting older, but I never want to lose my spunk
and childish ways.  I know how to act
professional and like an adult in situations that call for it.  Most of the time though, I’m a ridiculous
child stuck in an adult’s body who likes to sing at the top of my lungs in my
car in traffic for everyone to see and laugh instead of being miserable in rush
hour.  I’m that adult who still wears
lots of pink.  I’m the adult who still
loves things from her childhood.  I’m
that adult who gets excited every time I rev my car haha!  When I get sick I still talk to my mom to
make me feel better, even if it’s just through a text.  I’m the adult who still goes to my parents
for advice whether it’s financial, life, if I can eat something that’s expired
lol, or even what shoes to buy. 

I don’t think anyone is ever ready to grow up.  I look back on the days when I could not wait
to move out and how when I turned 18 I thought I could do whatever I
wanted.  All I ever wanted to do was grow
up, move out, get the car of my dreams, find a guy who can deal with my
ridiculousness (yes, I’m making that a word too, I’m on a roll today), and live
happily ever after.  Even though I wish I
didn’t have to pay for adult bills, at the same time I do have everything I
wanted growing up.  I just wish I would’ve
enjoyed being carefree and not having a care in the world a little bit more and
I wish I wouldn’t have been so fixated on that boy who broke my heart, and that
friend who stabbed me in the back, or being stressed out over the TINIEST
things.  I learned the hard way that
there are wayyyy worse things up ahead for me.

I don’t have any regrets in my life because I know
everything that happened in my life good and the extremely bad made me who I am
today.  All of those things humbled me
and made me a more positive person believe it or not.  If you’ve made it this far in this post I
applaud you haha.  I tend to ramble
sometimes!