What I would’ve told myself 4 years ago

Today is the last day of my Blogiversary series!  I can’t believe my blog turned 4 on Monday.  It’s been such a great 4 years.  To think that 4 years ago I came back to the blogging world and thought I’d just post a few blog posts and then stop doing it again, to blogging for 4 full years, not taking any breaks, and constantly taking pictures and coming up with new content.  It’s been one heck of a ride and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’ve learned a lot and I’ve also learned from my mistakes.  I may not be a big time blogger or insta famous, but I’m right where I should be for now.  Here are some things I wish I would’ve told myself over the past few years.  Just as a fair warning, this is a raw post where I’m not holding back.  I’m getting down to the nitty gritty!  Ok, let’s be honest, it’s really not that bad, but I’m sure some people can relate!

Don’t compare, be yourself

In the beginning I was creating my own fashion, but then noticed that I wasn’t getting any traffic, so I started mimicking other bloggers.  I bought trendy pieces that I literally only wore once and then still did some of my own clothing.  I kept comparing myself to other people and wondered how these other bloggers who’s pictures weren’t quality, or their outfits were just a tshirt and jeans, made it to the big leagues.  So, I did what any good student would do; I studied them, and I studied them hard.  I invested in a camera and I started using better hashtags (my boyfriend always makes fun of the amount of hashtags I put on a photo).  I started purchasing more and more trendy pieces just so that I could fit in and mingle with these other bloggers, and it STILL wasn’t working.  I had to sit back and remind myself that you don’t want to be like these trendy bloggers.  So what if 5 different bloggers are wearing the exact same outfit and have thousands of more likes than I do.  They already made it to the big leagues so they don’t have to stand out in order to gain traffic or a following.  Which can I just say that there are so many similar outfits on the interwebs nowadays, I mean I know I have some trendy pieces, but some of these bloggers look exactly the same.  Hey, I may not have a huge following (I’m almost at 2k Instagram followers though bahahaha), but I’ve decided to stay true to myself.  I don’t want to follow the trending bloggers because that’s their thing.  My thing is something a little different.  I’d rather be myself and not compare myself to others (I literally one day copied an entire outfit from another blogger and I still had no likes or followers on Instagram and I got so frustrated lol) then blend in.

Don’t give out all of your information

In the beginning whenever someone would say they want to be a blogger I would always be the first to help them get started.  I mean even though I didn’t have a huge following, at least I could help them with what I had already learned.  Well, people took that to their advantage.  One blogger who I actually met up with and sat down and ate dinner with for 3 hours (I took 3 hours that I already don’t have out of my day with this person) and she uploaded a month’s worth of blog posts and that was it.  I gave them all the information that took me 2 years to figure out and they just gave up.  Then there was another blogger who I basically gave a whole entire packet of what I learned in two years.  I gave them everything I had learned.  Within a month or so into them blogging they stopped talking to me and started pointing out things that I’ve done wrong on my blog or social media channels.  I was incredibly hurt because of course I love constructive criticism, but when you state something in such a demeaning way especially after I had helped you, it just hurts.  I know I may also be too sensitive because you have to take the good with the bad, but something about this incident really bugged me.  It was in that moment that I decided I would not make the same mistake a third time.  Of course I help people if they have a question or give them my recommendation, but I will not give them all of my research.  This doesn’t mean all bloggers are sneaky or anything of that nature because I still help people if they ask me for it, I just won’t waste 3 hours of my time explaining every little detail about everything and even setting up a blog for them.  I’ve learned who my friends are and who isn’t.  I’m still a little weary with people and don’t trust them 100% at first but all of the amazing bloggers I’ve met outweigh the bad experiences I’ve had.

Be patient

Patience is not something I’m good at all the time.  Sometimes I have all the patience in the world, and other times you’d think I was a spoiled brat who was never told no while growing up.  I’m still not where I imagined myself to be 4 years ago.  By now I imagined myself to be blogging full time and doing something I love.  However, the reality is, blogging is really just a popularity contest.  It’s all about who you know, and what brands share your content.  You know how many times I’ve had bigger brands ask if they can share my photo and reply with a certain hashtag and I never see that share?  Every time I think, OMG THIS IS IT, THIS IS MY MOMENT!  Alas, it never happens.  Would I love to blog full time?  Absolutely, but I need to learn to be patient and take this one day at a time.  If I’m not meant to blog full time, then so be it!  I was not the popular girl in high school (I was actually the outcast lol) and I’m not the popular girl in the blogging world, and that’s TOTALLY OK!  So what if I have barely 2k Instagram followers, or if I have 250 followers on Bloglovin’ with that number NEVER changing lol?  I’m doing something that’s fun to me and I get to work with amazing brands regardless.  Most of my closet is just from reviews I’ve done over the years.  Would it be nice to have thousands and thousands of followers?  Oh absolutely!  However, it’s just not my time yet and I’ve come to terms with that. 

Don’t be afraid

This is something that I’ve learned throughout my years of blogging.  When I first started I had no idea where this thing would go.  I was terrified to go to NYC’s Lucky FABB because I was afraid of getting lost taking the bus in from NJ and I was afraid I’d be roaming aimlessly around this convention, but I went anyway!  I met awesome bloggers that I still talk to.  Then I was terrified of going to Lucky FABB in LA, because it was my FIRST TIME EVER IN CALI!  But, I went.  I’ve pushed myself to do all of these things.  I was afraid of organizing blogger meetups in NYC but I did and I organized more than just 1 or 2!  The best part is I’ve made friends because of these “stepping out of my comfort zone” things.  Don’t be afraid to try that new lipstick or that new hair color (I went pink once on the blog before haha!).  Don’t be afraid to wear that outfit that’s weird, but ended up getting more love than any other outfit.  Don’t be afraid to contact brands, so what if they reject you?  At least you know you tried!  Don’t be afraid of creating content that’s new or evolving.  My blog has evolved from just one category to multiple ones and I have lost some followers along the way, but I’ve also gained new followers who love my variety.  I’m doing what I like to do and what makes me happy, I mean, this is MY blog after all.

Stop looking at numbers

I wish I would’ve told myself this a long time.  Ever since I found out about Google Analytics (August of 2013) to up about two months ago I was OBSESSED with my analytics.  Refreshing every half hour if I was on the computer.  Getting bummed out if my numbers weren’t getting better.  Up until about a month or two ago I just stopped looking at my analytics.  Why look at my numbers, get bummed, and then say that I’m going to stop blogging since my numbers are so bad?  So, I just stopped all together.  It’s not that my numbers were bad, it’s just I knew my blog was worth more than what analytics was showing me.  Now, I just don’t look at my analytics.  I’ll look at them for an entire month, and that’s it.  I already know which days create the most traffic on my blog from the past few years.  That’s why those are the days I make it count.  Ever since I stopped looking at my analytics religiously (unless of course a brand asks for my monthly numbers) I’ve actually felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  I should have done this YEARS ago!

This entire week we are celebrating 4 years of fun.  That’s why I’ve teamed up with a group of bloggers and we are giving away the below items!

• Kate Spade Crossbody (I bought one for myself too because I loved it so much so whoever wins we will be twins)
• Kylie Lip Kit (Exposed)
• Kylie Eyeshadow (Peach Palette)
• $25 Zara Gift Card
• Too Faced/Kat Von D Better Together Eyeliner/Mascara Kit
• Sephora Travel Makeup Sponge with Case/Keychain

**PLEASE READ FOLLOWING GIVEAWAY RULES CAREFULLY:  Since this is such a big giveaway I am going to write the rules out for everyone instead of just putting them in the giveaway widget.  This time around I will be checking every single entry due to the amount of items being given away.

1. Open to the 48 contiguous states in the USA.  
2. MUST follow at least one of your host’s (me) social media accounts below.
3. MUST follow at least one of the two social media links for each of the bloggers co-hosting this giveaway with me.
4. If you are a “repeat offender” (someone who I’ve noticed follow then unfollow throughout my giveaways) you WILL be disqualified.  I apologize for this new rule I know everyone loves free stuff, but it’s only fair to the other people who have entered every giveaway and still loyally follow.