BE SELFISH: Get rid of toxicity ASAP!

Ok, so since it’s the 4th week of January and I still can’t believe it, I’m still thinking about what I want to do in 2018.  I can’t think of anything other than what I put in my first post of 2018.  Since I’ve noticed that I haven’t really been writing much other than about the outfits themselves and  a story or two, I want to start talking about stories that have advice attached to them.  Basically, I want to write about things that you can use in your own life.  When I started looking at what age group is reading my blog, I’ve noticed that it’s a lot of mid-late 20 somethings and up.  Then I started thinking about where I was at mentally in my mid 20’s.  I was not in a great spot in my life until I turned 25.  I know I’ve talked about my past before, but I want to go a little more in depth as to why getting rid of toxicity as soon as possible is best for you.

I graduated with my BS in 2009 and then went on to complete my MBA in 2012.  If you read my epilepsy post last week you would’ve read that I rebelled after I was diagnosed at 17 and basically rebelled until I was 25. Now I’m using the word rebel loosely because it was not just rebelling, it was basically not having a care in the world, but not in a “I’m finding myself” way that would benefit me, more in a “I just don’t care what happens” type of way.  Let’s just say the stars did not align with me whatsoever until I was 25.  So, once I graduated in 2012 I moved to Texas!  I had been obsessed with moving to TX for quite some time because there was just something pulling me to that state.  I loved TX, but unfortunately there were a few things that happened that caused me to come back here to NJ.  TX was supposed to be a fresh start for me, and then I ended up right back where I started.

When I came back I decided this is going to be my fresh start.  I put my foot down and got rid of every single person that was toxic in my life.
I got rid of everything that was weighing me down.  Something finally clicked in my head.  You see when I graduated you have NO idea how
many people put me down for having my MBA and not landing my dream job.  You have no idea how many friends, and coworkers (some people above me) in the retail world said things like “Oh you have an MBA and have the same job I do, how does that make you feel?”   I even had a manager say to me “how does it feel that I barely finished high school and I am your boss?”  Some “friends” had told me that they only had a high school education and were making more than I ever would.  I started to doubt myself and my worth in that time period.  When I came back from TX and had to face those same “friends” I decided they needed to be gone.  I cut everyone out of my life (besides my family).  I kept maybe a few people in my life, but everyone else was completed deleted (social media included).  I felt so refreshed
afterwards.  I started hanging out with my family more and started realizing my worth.  I may have spent A LOT on my college education but I didn’t do it for anyone but myself.  College isn’t for everyone, but it was for me and having that degree was so important to me.  Once I had more supportive friends in my life who did/didn’t have a college education I saw the difference in human beings.  They actually supported me.  I finally felt like I had accomplished something in life.  Not too long after that, I was offered the job at the place I’m at now and the stars have aligned ever since (minus a few hiccups lol).

Now, since I’ve talked about my story, here’s what I want to say to y’all.

If you’re doubting your worth, or doubting anything in your life because of the people in it who aren’t supportive (sometimes this can also be family which is even worse, I got lucky with my family) you need to walk away from them.  They are toxic to you and bringing you down.  Like I said above, college isn’t for everything so this also applies to those people who think they are better than someone because they have an education and the other person doesn’t.  Some of the most brilliant people in this world are college dropouts, or don’t have an education.  Your education, your job, or any of your materialistic things don’t make you a brilliant person.  Be humble.  I started avoiding any reality TV shows and anything that had too much drama.  I started taking care of my health, and I feel better than ever.  I don’t really talk to people who are all about materialistic things either.  I want people in my life who have depth to them.

I know that it’s hard distancing yourself from some people who you have known for a while (one of the people I cut out was someone I had
known since second grade) and it’s scary to think that you will either be alone or will have to make new friends, but it’s so worth it.  Trust me, it’s refreshing.  I made quality friends at my new job, and I ended up getting engaged a few years later.  Because of this entire experience I’ve become humble.  I treat everyone like a human because I know what it’s like to be put down.  I guess Karma was on my side for once.  I do wish my old “friends” and coworkers the best, but at the same time, I don’t care to be there for them.  Some people will say I’m holding a grudge, but I’m really not because I got rid of them for my own good because they were bringing me down, so how is that a grudge?  For my current friends, I’m there for them because I know what it’s like to not have supportive friends.  If one of my girl friends or blogger friends
is doing something great I’ll be there cheering her on and saying YOU GO GIRL!  I will be honest to my friends, instead of feeding them BS just to feel better instead of fixing the problem.

It’s a new year, so if you have toxic people or things in your life, move on.  Better yourself, and realize your self worth.