Top 10 Things I wish I knew when I graduated College

Skirt:  MakeMeChic // Top:  Old Navy // Shoes:  UGG (similar here)

I keep seeing graduation pictures everywhere, so I decided I wanted to write a post about graduating.  I wish adults would stop telling children that you NEED to go to college to get an education and that will help you get a job.  Newsflash, A LOT of college graduates (myself included until 5 years ago) are working as your local barista at Starbucks, or that retail associate that you’re yelling at because you can’t return used shoes.  Graduating is supposed to be a great feeling of accomplishment and freedom because now you’re a REAL adult, and it’s your time to shine in the world.  However, not every college grad gets to feel accomplished for too long when they start to realize they can’t get a job, they have to start paying their student loans, and now they are moving back home with their parents.  I know a lot of people who were also really successful and had a job lined up for them straight out of college.  This post isn’t really for you, this post is for the kids like me who had a really hard time after graduation.

Here’s my story before you make assumptions.  I graduated in 2009 (the year after the economy crashed, talk about luck) with my BS in Business Administration with a minor in Fashion.  My dream was to be a Fashion Major and go to the big bad city and become a designer, or some head honcho like Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.  I never went for my fashion major dream, because it got shot down by my parents, just like my interest in cosmetology school.  They said graduating with a degree in business was less risky and they were right, however, that degree that every adult told me to get didn’t help me one bit when I graduated.  This was also a time where as soon as you graduated you only had a certain amount of time on your parent’s health insurance (this was before we were allowed to be on our parent’s insurance until 25) before you were kicked off and for me that meant paying for my medication out of pocket which for a 30 day supply at the time was over $500.  So a fresh grad, with student loans, no money saved up, minimum wage job, a car to fix, and a medical condition was stuck.  Even with living at home, I was absolutely dirt broke.  I found out that if I went back for my MBA the insurance company would cover me under my parents insurance and I wanted to get my MBA anyway (except I wanted to get real life experience before I went back to school) so after a semester of struggling, I was accepted into the MBA program.  Then I graduated with my Master’s in 2012.  I STILL couldn’t find a job.  At this point it was because I was over educated and under experienced so they didn’t want to hire me for a position that was entry level but they wouldn’t hire me at a hire level that matches my education because I didn’t have enough experience.  This is when I started to go into a different phase in my life where I just didn’t care anymore about anything.  The school system had failed me.  I did EVERY, SINGLE, THING, they told me to do and I still couldn’t find a job.  I also went to a school where not many people knew about it at the time.

Eventually almost a year after I had graduated with my MBA after going through a whirlwind of bad shit (for lack of better words) I finally found a job because of someone I knew.  It honestly had nothing to do with my education, it had to do with who I knew.  They didn’t acknowledge that I had an MBA until two years in.  What’s sad is nowadays, you can’t even be a receptionist at a company without a college degree.  If college degrees are going to end up being mandatory, I really hope that education becomes free.  Or at least just have the kids pay for their books.  However, with all of this being said, there are a few things that I wish I did when I first graduated.  Now, just keep in mind I don’t regret anything in my life, but if I can help out a few kids out there, then that’s what this post is meant for.

1. Had an Internship under my belt

I honestly wish I had an internship under my belt.  At my last job, if you were an intern, you weren’t guaranteed a job after graduation, BUT if you did a good job and made a name for yourself, you bet your ass they would call you as soon as they had an opening.  If I had an internship I would’ve had some kind of experience both on my resume and real world experience.  I was really naive and have this thought that when I graduated everyone would be so nice and I would get a job with the snap of my fingers.  Well, that was far from what it was in reality.  People were mean, and I know I’ve told this story here on the blog before, but people with no education with a higher position than me would put me down for having a degree and working at the bottom of the food chain.  Anyway, off topic, but I did wish I had an internship.

2. Had money saved up

Oh how I wish I had a nice savings account for myself.  This way I would’ve had a backup plan for paying for my medication and paying for my student loans once I looked for a job.  This would’ve also helped me with my car repairs (which at that point in time were starting to get expensive, given the mileage on the car).  I would’ve had an emergency fund so that I wouldn’t work myself into credit card debt.  I started out with a little bit of debt and it just kept piling up until I hit $25k worth of credit card debt that I JUST paid off a few weeks ago.  ALWAYS have money saved up, please at least do that for yourself.  I’m currently working on this now.

3. Knew my worth

I wish I had more confidence in myself.  I wish that I knew what I was worth.  My first “real job” (if you can even call it that haha) was working for a recruiting agency.  I so badly want to put them on full blast because of my sleezy excuse for a boss who I saw creep on my LinkedIn profile a few months ago (yea, I’m doing just fine, move along you POS), but I’m going to refrain the name dropping.  What happened there was I showed up fifteen minutes early on my first day and he had this whole disappointed parent look on his face saying that I was late.  I was a little taken back and I told him that my watch must be off because I’m reading 15 minutes early.  He corrected me and said well you’re technically here 14 minutes early, but that’s considered late to me so make sure you’re here 15 minutes early.  So the next day I showed up 20 minutes early and of course no comment.  I was basically his office bitch for lack of better words.  He wanted his coffee a certain way and it had to be put in the conference room at a specific time.  He told all of the women that we needed to wear skirts or dresses at all times and that pants were for men.  Now, I know what you’re thinking, why the f*** did I work there?  Well, I was fresh out of college, I needed a job, and that was the only job that called me back after the interview.  One day I said that I would have to leave a little earlier during my lunch and I might come back a little late (I always came in 20 minutes early and always left at least a half hour late) and it was for a doctor’s appointment.  Well, he demanded a doctor’s note and I told him I didn’t have one and he said if I don’t produce one that I could kiss my job goodbye.  It was in that moment that I thought, fine, fire me.  Needless to say he made a huge ordeal out of it and called one of the other girls in the office to escort me out.  Did you think I was going to steal the stapler that didn’t work, or the coffee that I had to make you every day?  He told me I would never amount to anything and that I would be working in retail for the rest of my life.  I never looked back after that.  There were a few more instances that weren’t as severe as this one, but it was one of those Napoleon complexes.  Needless to say, I learned very early on that the world is a very ugly place.

4. Had a plan B

I know I’ve talked about this here on the blog before, but my plan when I was in high school (because I wanted to go to college but I also didn’t find regular school interesting) to go to tech school for half of the day for cosmetology.  I wanted to have something else under my belt so that I could work in a salon while going to college so that I could pay my way through school.  That was my plan, but it got shot down by my parent’s which was really upsetting for me.  I still wonder if I would’ve been any good because I still find the chemistry behind hair color and the skill set behind cutting hair so interesting.  What I should’ve done was come up with another plan in case my college education failed me the way it did.  I don’t really know what other plan I could’ve had, but I wish I had something.  I started this blog when I was in college back when no one really knew what a blog was (2010) and if I would’ve continued, who knows I might’ve been a full time blogger.  I stopped blogging because the guy I was with at the time refused to take my pictures and told me it was stupid anyway.  So I stopped, and then started back up 3 years later.

5. Networked

I honestly wish I networked more.  I wish I went to career fairs, I wish I talked to more people at school, because maybe, just maybe, I would’ve gotten a job thanks to a friend, of a friend, of another friend.  I highly recommend doing this, because the more people you know, and the more people who actually enjoy your presence, the better it is for you in the long run.

6. Consolidated my Student Loans

Y’all, I legit just consolidated my student loans this year, and I honestly wish I would’ve done this from the very beginning.  In the 10 years that I was paying my one loan off from my Bachelors, I didn’t even put a dent in it, meanwhile the other loan was part of what used to be Sallie Mae, and now Navient.  Those people are a bunch of thieves, STAY AWAY FROM THEM!  If you can get financial aid another way, do it.  Every single person I’ve talked to has said the same thing, that Navient/Sallie Mae robbed them of so much money with their “fluctuating” interest (even though you sign the papers for a fixed interest rate).  They some how get away with it because of their REALLY fine print.  In 10 years I will be done paying off my student loans for less than what it would have been if I didn’t consolidate.

7. Wasn’t Dependent on my Parents

My parents were great, and told me I could live at home for however long I needed with the exception of living under their rules, which would have been fine, except they treated me like a child.  It wasn’t until I moved out that I didn’t have a curfew.  I wish that I didn’t rely on them so much because maybe if I knew that I had to depend on myself I would’ve been able to really get out there in the world a lot sooner.  My parents were almost like my security blanket.  I knew that if I stayed home I didn’t have to pay the sky high rent here in NJ and that I had a place to lay my head at night and eat.  Don’t get me wrong, I went through my own shit, but I wish I would’ve stepped out of my comfort zone more.

8. Put Myself First

The same guy that I mentioned earlier that told me to stop blogging taught me how to not put myself first.  Normally this would be a good thing, but not in this case.  It was thanks to this person that I got myself in even more debt, and I alienated myself from everyone, all to be cheated on and lied to in the end.  I wish that I would’ve actually known my self worth and put myself before him.  It was an extremely toxic relationship, and even more toxic break up.  Even after all of these years and all of the tears and heart ache, I still hope that he was able to live his life and be happy.  He had a lot of built up anger and I just hope that he finally found peace and happiness.

9. Learned how to NOT be naive

I’ve always been naive.  I’ve always put my faith in humanity and while this is good, there’s a fine line to this statement.  Yes, it’s good to put your faith in humanity, but if you’re too trusting, people will take what they can from you and then just leave you there.  The world is a scary place sometimes, and that saying “every man for himself,” is really true to a point.  You have to learn how to survive.  Over the years, I’ve been hurt and lied to too many times, that my faith in humanity has not been restored, and I’m not sure if ever will be.  I’m careful with who I trust, and my circle is VERY small.

10. The world doesn’t owe you anything

The last and most important thing on this list.  The world does not owe you anything!  I’m going to be completely honest, that when I graduated I honestly felt like the world owed me a job.  I was entitled to a job because I went to college.  Well, newsflash to all of you fresh grads, the world does not owe you this.  Just because you spent 6 figures on a school does not mean you deserve anything.  For a long time I wondered why my friends who never went to college had these great jobs and how they were living on their and doing something they actually love to do (like a mechanic, a hair dresser, welder, etc.), meanwhile I was a lot of money in debt because of student loans and nothing lined up.  I would go on interviews and that degree was required, but it didn’t mean you were guaranteed anything.  To be completely honest, I think being required to have a degree in the field I’m in is bullshit.  I feel like there are people out there who are free thinkers and geniuses but won’t ever be given a shot because they didn’t go to college or they dropped out of college.

I guess, the bottom line is, always stay humble.  Be proud of your education, but don’t ever think you are better than the person standing next to you just because you have a fancy piece of paper saying you paid for a school that you most likely didn’t learn much from and you learned/will learn more from your experience (at least in my case).

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xoxo Monica

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