Your Own Twist Linkup: Oscar worthy outfits | And discussing comments I get on my body

Dress:  Rebellia Clothing

Another month has come and gone, which means it’s time for the monthly Your Own Twist Linkup!  This month it’s all about Oscar Worthy outfits.  Now, because I purged my closet, this was the best that I could come up with.  I know most people wear gowns and while I do currently have one in my closet, I felt like going for something short.  That, and I also forgot I had that gown until I edited and uploaded these photos here on the blog.

Because I talked about going with something really short, I wanted to chat about a real issue that I experience all too often regarding my body.

Addressing a few things about my body…

As you can tell by the photos, I’m mostly leg, and they aren’t super model skinny legs.  I don’t mind my bigger thighs.  Are there days where I wish I had supermodel legs?  Well, yes, there are.  I would have a much more pleasant time shopping for pants!  However, at the end of the day, I’m learning to love every inch of my body.  There’s a reason why I’m saying this, I promise.

I’m 5’9 and currently I think I’m at 160/165lbs.  There is someone I know who is the same height as me however, is much smaller than me.  I think her waist is the size of one of my thighs, and I’m not saying that to be offensive, just to compare so y’all have an image in your head.  I personally think every single body should be praised, and one body is NOT better than another one, unless you are struggling with an ED, then I think you need to seek help.

A little while ago I wore another dress by Rebellia (here).  I shared a photo on a few different social media platforms and got multiple comments from different people about how short it was.  Let me just tell y’all, I used to get in trouble at school for wearing shorts that were “too short,” but they went way past my fingers when I put my arms down.  Obviously, I was abiding by the dress code.  The issue is I’m very tall, and because I’m bottom heavy and all leg, EVERYTHING looks short on me.

Remember that person I talked about who had the supermodel body?  She has worn pieces that are either the same length, or even shorter, and has never received these types of unsolicited comments.  The reason why, is because she’s about half my size.  Look at actual runway models, some of them wear next to nothing on the runway and that’s considered normal, but if a curvier gal wears something, she looks like a slut, or is somehow sexualized.  I’ve battled this my entire life, and I’ve had multiple conversations with my mom about this, because she knows how much this has bothered me growing up and still does.  All because I’m curvier and have “thicc” thighs as the kids say nowadays haha.

Speaking of unsolicited comments…

The other day I was helping a customer at our CBD store.  Usually when someone is new to CBD, I like to sit down with them and educate them on the industry as a whole, CBD, the different products, etc.  I was being my usual self and helping this guy out (by the way, he’s old enough to be my father, no judgement if you like older guys, but that’s not my thing), and then I stood up and turned around to get him a sample.

And that’s when it happened.  He just had to make it super awkward and comment on my body.  It was just so creepy the way he said it.  Now, keep in mind, I’m at our retail location by myself, so because of past experiences and because of how creepy some men are nowadays, I automatically started to panic internally.  He noticed that my mood had change because I froze and didn’t know what to say.  I still have to act professional because it’s our business, but that was completely uncalled for.  Well, he ended up just trying the sample and then leaving.

That’s when I took to my TikTok, because I see a lot of creepy men on there too doing duets with teenage girls (here’s a Youtube video that you can watch that exposes one of these predators).  I talked about how the man was old enough to be my father, and how he obviously doesn’t have a daughter because I highly doubt that he’d like an older man speaking to his daughter that way.  A lot of women commented on my video and said this is why they don’t like going to the gym, or how this happens to them on a daily basis.  Well, the unsolicited comments came rolling in too.  They were vile, so of course I blocked them and then unfortunately had to disable comments.  They literally ruined it for the rest of us who were relating to one another.

Another situation that I ran into last summer, which made me so uncomfortable.  I was working at one of the Farmer’s Markets with our CBD store.  I had my own little booth all set up, and was sitting there enjoying my coffee and the nice weather.  It was summer, so I obviously had shorts on.  I’m already insecure when I wear shorts because of my cellulite, and the fact that I’m always concerned about shorts looking like booty shorts on me (I’m really insecure, nothing against those of you who wear booty shorts).

I was sitting down with the booth in front of me.  An older man, old enough to be my father, maybe even my grandfather came up to my booth.  I thought he was leaning in to talk to me because he was hard of hearing.  No, no, no, no.  He was leaning in to tell me that he saw my “amazing legs” from the highway (while holding his grandson’s hand) and just had to stop by to see them in person.

Please don’t take this the wrong way!

I’m not saying that I don’t want anyone to compliment me, or comment on my body.  However, there is a time a place, and there is a huge difference between complimenting and undressing someone with your eyes.  The only one that I want undressing me with their eyes is my fiance.  Personally, I don’t think it’s appropriate to comment on a woman’s body in her place of business.  I also don’t think that some men know that this makes some women like myself very uncomfortable.  Honestly, I wish that it didn’t bother me, however with past experiences, I immediately go into a fight or flight mindset.  For me, because I’m so awkward to begin with, these types of comments just make it so uncomfortable for me.

Along with the original comment I talked about, the one where I was told the dress was too short.  I’m in my 30s, I’m not a child, if I want to wear a dress that happens to look short on me, I’ll wear it.  Also, did I ask you for your opinion?  No, I did not.  I know that some people may think that something is too short, or too exposed for me to wear, but I don’t comment on what you wear whatsoever.  Even my mother doesn’t make these comments, because she’s well aware that I am a grown ass woman.

I compliment women, and their bodies.  I always say that they look beautiful, or that they look fucking amazing in an outfit.  If I don’t like something, I keep scrolling.  I don’t feel the need to make another woman feel terrible with my opinion, THAT SHE DID NOT ASK FOR!

Now, that I’m done with my rant (sorry I had to let it out), let’s move on to the linkup.