CAN WE STOP MOM SHAMING?
Today I wanted to talk about a serious topic; mom/parent shaming and judging. The other day I had a very interesting discussion with someone on Instagram. It was in regards to them being adopted and how they’ve been made to feel less than because they were not breastfed. Now, if I can breastfeed, I would absolutely love to, but if my body doesn’t allow it, that’s ok too. However, this brought up an interesting discussion between the two of us. Last time I checked it’s 2021, and I’ve seen so many arguments online of people trying to discredit parents, especially moms for so many things.
I’ve seen so much mom shaming and judgement throughout the years, which is one of the many reasons why I didn’t plan to have children. This is why I haven’t been reading parenting books because every child is different. While my mom and dad instilled the same values and morals in my brother and me, my mom was a different mom with each of us. Not to mention, some of the people that I’ve seen express these very problematic opinions are women, and even moms themselves.
Related: Hello Third Trimester!
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
BREASTFEEDING VS. PUMPING OR FORMULA
I know that some will say it’s healthier to breast feed as opposed to formula. However, I don’t think any mom should be made out to be less of a mother because she can’t breastfeed. In addition, maybe she can’t pump because her body just isn’t producing enough. Why is this even something that falls into the category of mom shaming? Moms have it hard enough. Or, if we look at this from an adoptive parent’s point of view, they most likely cannot breastfeed, so they are limited on options. Does that make them any less of a parent in trying to do what is best for the baby given the limited options they have? No, it does not.
Related: The Best Maternity Nightgowns
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
BIOLOGICAL PARENTS VS. ADOPTED PARENTS
I can’t believe that I have still seen with my own two eyes, the argument of adopted parents not being as good as biological parents. This grinds my gears on so many levels. There are biological parents who should not be having babies for a multitude of different reasons. Some of these biological parents are absent or abusive. Whereas adoptive parents (this of course includes LGBTQ parents as well) can be better than some biological parents.
How selfless are you to decide to adopt a child that you don’t know anything about? This is a child that someone else biologically created, but adoptive parents are taking on the responsibility of loving and providing for that child. There are plenty of circumstances where biological parents are unable to provide for their child and they are doing the right thing to have someone else adopt their child. Then there are also those who give their children up for adoption because they simply do not want them.
Biological parents may have a biological connection to a child, but who does that child call mom and/or dad? Who does that child go to when they fall down, get a scrape on their knee, and want mom or dad to kiss it and make it better? Who is providing for that child and making sure they have food in their belly, a roof over their head, and a loving parent(s)?
Related: Maternity Bodycon Dress
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
C SECTION VS. VAGINAL BIRTH
I didn’t know there was controversy surrounding these two ways of giving birth until I got pregnant. In addition, I had no idea that some people have thought less of women who have had C sections. As long as the baby/babies are delivered, why does it matter how they got here? Shouldn’t we be happy that a baby is born healthy and mom is also ok? Why are we judging moms and mom shaming for how they gave birth? C Sections are done for a reason. Or an emergency C Section might have to be done during labor.
I personally don’t care how my bebe gets here, as long as bebe is healthy, that’s all I care about. If I have to have an emergency C Section or if something happens between now and the end of my pregnancy and I get scheduled for one, I don’t care. In my opinion, I don’t think either way of giving birth makes a mom better than the other. Some of these people mom shaming need to get up off their high horse.
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
QUICK PREGNANCY UPDATES
I feel like I’m constantly talking about pregnancy updates, but everything changes so much in just a week. This past weekend we started cleaning a little bit to make room for the newest addition to our family. There is a lot of organizing I’m going to have to do within the next few weeks. Hubs calls me a hoarder, and while its not bad, I do hold on to too many things. I do need to get rid of a lot of things and organize the rest. The plan was to do this when we moved into our first house because it would be easier, but life doesn’t always go as planned, and it’s full of surprises. This coming weekend, I believe, is being reserved for nursery shopping so I’m excited to finally get some of this stuff all set up.
Related: A few of my favorite recipes for a healthier pregnancy.
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
I PASSED MY GLUCOSE TEST!
I passed my 3 hour glucose test! It was a rough test, so I’m glad I passed. I was doing just fine up until hour number two. That’s when I started to feel a little tired, and that’s the test I failed out of the four that they poked me for blood samples. Then the last time they went to get my blood they had to poke me multiple times because my veins closed up shop and said, nope you’re not getting any more blood out of me haha.
I always get complimented on my veins, but I guess since I was still healing from the two pokes I got the week prior (I bruised really bad), they had to keep using one arm. They finally got my veins to cooperate though so that was a relief. My results showed that I only failed one out of the four blood samples they took so woot woot, I passed!
Also, as a side note in case you didn’t know, if you use Quest Diagnostics you can actually sign up to see your results sooner.
What happened after the 3 hour test is something that scared me. I did bring snacks with me so that I could eat them once the test was over since I was fasting for so long. When I was done with my test all I wanted to do was go get an iced decaf coffee from Dunkin since it’s on the way back to the shop (there’s only one in town and I’m a Dunkin gal, not a Starbucks fan). For whatever reason there was traffic that I got stuck in, and then I started feeling woozy and tired.
I had to cut through some parking lots to get back to the shop, but I never stopped for that coffee obviously. Once I got back to the shop, the hubs decided he was going to take me home because he didn’t want me working in that state. I ended up taking a nap once I got home and felt much better after that. It might have been a combination of stress and fasting for so long during pregnancy that really messed my body up.
Related: My Youtube setup is changing again due to the nursery.
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
TESTING FOR RH NEGATIVE
On Monday I went to get tested to see if I’m RH negative. This testing was supposed to be done back in March (according to my doctor), but either my doctor or the lab forgot. Which means, my bruised up self went to get blood taken again. This was the third week in a row that I’ve had blood drawn so it’s been a pain in the butt. At least I don’t have to get poked again until three weeks from now. We’ll see what the results are, but I’m hoping everything is fine.
I know that nowadays, if you do test for this blood type, my doctor said that all they do is give you a shot at 28 weeks (I’m currently at 29, 30 on Sunday), monitor you, and then they give you another shot at the time of labor if I’m remembering correctly. However, I’m happy to report that the iced decaf coffee I wanted from Dunkin after my glucose test that I didn’t get, I got after this test!
Related: A message to people telling me about the worst parts of motherhood and pregnancy.
Dress: Boohoo // Purse: Kate Spade (old, similar here and here) // Earrings: Amazon // Shoes: Target
LET’S MOVE ON TO THE LINKUP!
I’m sure that I’ll experience mom shaming. However, now that I got all of that off my chest, let’s move on to the linkup. I’m sorry for being so ranty lately, but I’m blaming it on the hormones and the heat haha!
Related: Pregnancy Announcement
Great post, my friend! You look so adorable in this darling pink dress. And those sandals are magnificent! Yeah, mom shaming is a very real thing and so, so stupid! I tried to breastfeed my first but he was preemie and had lots of problems with it, so we went straight to formula before we even left the hospital. But upon making the decision to switch to formula right away (because I was getting stressed and baby was getting hungry), the lactation consultant in the hospital very angrily told me that my lack of willingness to try made me a terrible mother. To which I promptly responded with some choice curse words as I firmly told her to get the **** out of my room. When baby number 2 came along, I already knew that I appreciated the ease of formula feeding and didn’t even entertain the idea of breastfeeding him. The lactation consultant that time around was very kind and understanding and super helpful when my boobs got all swollen and sore. I find myself always reminding people in matters like these that different doesn’t mean wrong. In fact, I sort of just scream those 4 words right out loud as soon as someone attempts to imply that doing something differently from them is wrong. You do you, girl, and you raise that precious bebe in whatever way seems best for you and your family! And excellent news about your glucose test! Now go eat some donuts!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
These sandals are super comfy too! I got them from Target. I cannot believe that the lactation consultant had the audacity to say that to you. Each mother is different and there was a point in time where formula was “trendy.” People are so invested in other’s lives and I really just want to say, mind your business to these people. Also, I love that, “different doesn’t mean wrong.” I’m going to start using that from now on! Also, yes, I can finally eat that damn donut I’ve been wanting but I just haven’t grabbed one yet haha.
You look absolutely adorable in this dress! I’m so excited for you! Perhaps it’s a generational thing, but I am shocked about all the negativity other people are sending your way.
Thank you so much! I love this dress, it’s so comfy, especially with this big belly haha. I’m not sure why there is so much negativity, but thankfully no one has said these things directly to me. I’ve just seen it being said to others and the judgement is strong with a lot of people. Why can’t we just be supportive of one another, especially because being a parent is already tough enough.